TOKYO – Among Japan’s growing number of “selective singles” — people who choose not to marry — are women who decide to become mothers through sperm donation.
While feeling a deep desire for children, these women have often been led to shun relationships due to complex personal circumstances such as experience of abuse.
With Japan lacking a clear legal framework for third-party sperm donation, some turn to overseas sperm banks as their only viable path to motherhood.
“Sperm donation was a ray of hope,” says a 43-year-old woman living in Tokyo. After using an overseas sperm bank and undergoing in vitro fertilization (IVF), she gave birth last year. She had been married in her 20s but divorced after enduring emotional abuse from her husband.
Although she later considered remarrying, her lingering discomfort around men made it impossible to pursue another romantic relationship.
Hoping to keep her options open, she froze her eggs while still in her 30s. But as the years passed, anxiety about her future grew.
The woman’s turning point came after she turned 40, when she came across a blog written by another woman who had used an overseas sperm bank to have a child.
After reading the blog, she found herself thinking, “You can have a child even without a spouse.”
Though initially hesitant about conceiving and giving birth using donated sperm, she ultimately decided to move forward.
Now a mother, she juggles childcare and full-time work. “I’m the breadwinner of my household. I can’t afford to take time off,” she says, explaining that she returned to work just two months after giving birth.
She also keeps in touch with other single mothers who made similar choices, occasionally cooperating on childcare and sharing experiences.
Another Tokyo woman, age 36, is preparing for pregnancy using sperm from an overseas donor. Having been sexually assaulted by her father, she finds it extremely difficult to form relationships with men.
For her, sperm donation offered a way to pursue motherhood while maintaining her emotional boundaries. “This is not a decision made lightly,” she says firmly.
In Japan, procedures like artificial insemination or IVF using donated sperm or eggs fall under what is known as “specified assisted reproductive technology.”
While medical technology in this field has progressed, Japan’s legal system has not kept pace.
Currently, guidelines from the Japan Society of Obstetrics and Gynecology stipulate that artificial insemination with donor sperm is allowed only for legally married couples.
IVF is also limited to married or common-law couples. Single individuals are excluded from treatment under these rules.
Despite this, a small number of medical institutions in Japan quietly accept single women who use overseas sperm banks.
Hiromi Ito, an infertility counselor, explains, “Some clinics take the position that medical access shouldn’t be selective, and that a child’s happiness isn’t determined by the family structure.”
However, assisted reproductive technologies can bring potential challenges, including complex parent-child relationships and health risks such as infectious diseases.
Since donor identities are often anonymous, a child’s “right to know their origins” may also be compromised.
“I don’t know if this is the right answer,” one mother said, “but I want to share as much donor information as possible with my child. I also hope to build a community where children in similar situations can connect and grow up with a strong sense of identity.”
BY: The Times Union
